Let's review a car, shall we?

Today, I'm going to review a car. I'm sure this comes as a shock after reading the title of the post, but let's roll with the punches. The car which I shall review is my very own 2001 Honda Accord coupe. Clearly, it isn't the newest of cars, but as it is the only one to which I have access, it gets to be reviewed first. So, let's start with the stats. It has a four-cylinder, 2.3 liter engine, as well as an automatic gear box. Straight from the factory it should have achieved 150 horsepower. Now, eleven years later, this is how many I estimate are left:

At least, that's how many there were the last time I counted. However, let's give credit where credit is due, because this car has no less than 186,000 miles on it. And, amazingly, most importantly, it has never gone wrong without some amount of user error involved. Speaking of which, let's talk about some things that I love about this car:

If you're confused about my pie chart title, I've named my car Ian. That's right, I've named my car and I'll not apologize for it. In any case, let's start with the smallest category. Ian is silver, which is one of the things that I like about this car. In the long run that isn't important because the Accord comes in a variety of colors, most of which you will be able to find if you're in the market for a reliable, secondhand Honda. The second smallest category on the graph is the engine noise. To be fair, I like most engine noises. Ian doesn't make the loudest noise, but you can really hear him trying to fulfill your wish to go faster, and I like that. You might notice that I've attributed supernatural powers to the bumper up there. That's because I'm fairly certain that my front bumper went to an exclusive boarding school in Scotland when it turned eleven. Let me explain: if, for example, you were to turn onto a one-way road and were to be going the wrong way, what would you do? First, wet yourself. Second, do something to correct the situation that would otherwise surely lead to your demise. So, you try to do a u-turn right there in the middle of the street. Of course, you may be panicked and perhaps might lack depth perception. In this case, you'll likely hit a telephone pole. If you do, I can assure you (not from prior experience in a similar situation...this is definitely hypothetical) that the giant dent in the front bumper will fix itself. Now, it won't fix itself in such a way that the telephone pole slime will clean itself, and unfortunately the front end may be slightly out of alignment. However, you probably wouldn't have to replace anything, and, being a broke college student, I approve of anything that saves me money. So, I love the magic bumper. Moving on, we've already covered the fact that the only thing that will break a Honda Accord is the driver, but I'd like to briefly mention that the ride quality and handling are pretty good as well. The interior has good build quality. There's plastic, but it doesn't feel flimsy and cheap. Also the gear lever has a shiny, cold, metal button on one side of the nice leather knob. I'm not certain what the button does, as you can still change gear (which I'm using in the automatic sense of "drive" to "reverse," or some such) quite easily without pressing it. But I like it. A lot. There's also a CD changer that holds six CDs, and a cassette deck. My CD player is broken, but that was user error again. One last thing that I like about the interior is the trunk release button. I like how it's inside the car. This way, when you're chased by the police you can just pop the trunk on the go, pull left hand down at high speed, and the body you've placed in the trunk will just fly out! Such a convenient way to ditch the evidence. High above all of the other things I love about little Ian is his fuel economy. The little Honda Accord coupe is excellent on gas, and with the way gas prices are poised to skyrocket in the near future, I would have to say that this is one of the primary concerns of most car owners.

Now, let's talk about things I don't like:

I'm not going to mince words on this one, folks. I hate leather seats. I really, really, really do. But because these aren't standard to the car, I'm not going to natter on about them. My next post will probably be "why I hate leather seats," but for right now, suffice it to say that I just do.Therefore, we're left with the acceleration. To be succinct: the acceleration is crap. I've been passed by Toyota Priuses (Prii?), minivans, and once or twice by a U-Haul. This car goes from zero to sixty in about an hour. The only thing that makes up for it is the noise the engine makes as it valiantly attempts to fulfill your request for speed. It's a bit like tossing a ball, and then asking your 2-legged dog to fetch it. The dog's going to give it a good effort, and its loyalty will be deeply endearing, but in the end you'll be waiting all day for that ball. It's just so in the 2001 Accord.

All things considered then, I'd have to say that, as far as older model cars are concerned, the 2001 Honda Accord coupe, with a four-cylinder 2.3L engine, is a good little car. It'll get you where you want to go, and, more than that, it'll get you there for years and years and years on end, and won't bankrupt you in the process. This car is the Little 4-cylinder Engine that Could.